Horder

I am going to add to this posting over a few days as it comes to me....

I have realized that we are REALLY a material world. I was still holding onto my Barbie dolls, and my baby dolls from when I was a child. Why? What are my kids or husband going to do with it if I die? Play with it? Don't think so. So I very sadly walked my stuff to the trash. I can see it now as I type this out. What very fond memories I had playing with that stuff. I also found my old store playset, my old dollhouse furniture and my old record player. I gave it all to Goodwill. I am actually surprised that I am not sadder.
I was a horder, I realize. I also found every stinking card, letter, and note that my ex-husband sent me. Why? They made me angry looking at them, would loved to have burned them but I threw them out as well.

Ok I did save some stuff....like my Holly Hobby doll and my sock monkey doll. They are stuffed in a box discreetly labled........DO NOT THROW AWAY....PRIVATE....KEEP OUT! lol My dog growing up would take Holly and do unmentionalbles to her. We would find her with her legs spread and her arms over her head. I would cry and the family would laugh at me. I need to take a break....what a horrible memory........sniffle...sniffle...sniffle...
More to come....time to go to class....

Complex Feelings

It's one thing to stick a sign in your yard, have open houses and letting strangers see how you live. It is a totally different feeling when an offer is made on your home. My initial response is....Are you crazy? You...Live in My House? This is MY house, no one is good enough to live in MY house. Then you remember that you wanted to move, so we make a counter offer and that is accepted.
Reality hits! I cry! I cry hard! I cry multiple times! When you put that sign in the yard you think, I am ready to move on, leave the bad memories behind with the house. I then realize that those bad memories are who I am. What made me this great person! Then I realize all the great and wonderful memories that I have had within this house too. You can't have good memories without bad memories. 12 years of great and bad memories.
1. This is my first house, bought by ME and only ME.
2. This is my youngest sons only home he has known.
3. We laughed.
4. We cried.
5. We loved.
6. We sang.
7. We yelled.
8. Celebrated 12 Christmas, Birthdays, Halloweens, etc..
9. I was left by a husband in this house.
10. I welcomed a new husband in this house.
11. I have seen my oldest go from a terrible toddler, to a preteen, to a wonderful teenager (OK wonderful half the time).
12. Found out I was pregnant in this house.
13. Sobbed in the driveway over my Grandfather dying.
14. Consoled my sons in this house when their Dad left.
15. Heartbroken watching my sons drive away with their Dad for their first visitian with him.

There are so many memories in this house. But that is exactly what it is, a house. A house does not hold the memories. I do! I hold the memories I created in this house. Now this house will help create new memories for the next family that lives here. I will cry for the memories that I will not make in this house anymore but I also have anticipation for the memories I will make in my new home. It's amazing the feelings I have worked through, all because I sold my home.